whipped
by Eternalruler
Summary: finally some one has the guts to say it. roy, your whipped guess who.


Ok, now for all the legal mumbo jumbo: I do not own FMA…..yet.

Whipped

"Fullmetal, I told you to fill out those a report on that case _3 weeks ago_!" Mustang stormed into his office, his young charge in toe.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah—I'll get to it; eventually. I mean, it would help if you weren't always sending me on crack-pot missions."

"You just don't get it, do you? When you fail to do the paper work, _I'm_ the one who gets the heat from Hawkeye."

"Well, why do you think I always take so long?" Ed grinned evilly at the Colonel. He _loved_ being a smartass! Mustang merely glared back before continuing, but before he could let out a word; Hawkeye herself walked in—dropping a mountain of papers onto Roy's desk.

"Now, Sir."

And without another word Riza brusquely walked out. Roy looked like he'd been struck dumb. Ed on the other-hand had _no_ problem making sound, as he burst into laughter; other than the fact that he couldn't stop.

"What the _hell_ is so funny!"

"Sorry sir." No he wasn't "I just had no idea how incredibly whipped you are."

"I AM NOT WHIPPED!" The look on the Colonel's face would be enough to entertain him for _months_. Note to self: thank Hawkeye "Shut up." It was that scary-calm-before-the-storm-voice. Ed tried to stifle his laughter—he truly did—but all he could accomplish was to make his eyes water. "I still fail to see why this is so funny."

"Well, sir," Ed stifled his laughter enough to speak, "It's just that you always carry yourself as a _big macho wannabe Fuhrer_. It's just funny to think that _you_ bow to the orders of s subordinate—a woman subordinate." Ed grinned.

"You've got not right to talk Fullmetal; you've never been on the firing end of Riza's Gun. They don't call her "Hawkeye" for nothing."

Ed began to openly laugh again; "You know, for someone who brags so much, you sure attract odd women."

"At least I can get a woman."

That shut Ed up. Mustang's usual smirk formed as he saw the reaction formulating in Ed's eyes.

"Wh-whats that supposed to mean? I can get girls!"

"Like who?" retorted Mustang, he could tell that this was going to be fun . "Do you mean that little mechanic girl? The one who would rather ogle your metal limbs than check out your perfectly-toned-16-year-old-body."

WAR

"Do you mean _these_ metal limbs?" And with that Ed transmuted his right arm; into that blade he just seems to love. He was gonna give Mustang a taste of those metal limbs Whinry ogles. And with a snap of some fingers… Mustang's paper work blew up?

Ed: .

"What the hell? What was that suppose to accomplish?"

"Well," Mustang beamed, "1) It gets me out of paper work " Then he looked at Ed with his most evil megalomaniac grin. "And 2) when Hawkeye asks—I can blame it on you." evil grin

Ed charged, if he was going to suffer—damn it—Mustang would too. In the office there raged a fierce battle. Things were transmuted; things were blown up! And _oh my god the paper work_!

Suddenly time stopped. Well, at least that's how it seemed. Mustang poised to snap his fingers—Ed's auto-mail blade at his throat. There was a loud rumbling, like an earthquake. Bodies still frozen, the two soldiers turned their heads to the door.

It was like an explosion! As the door flew off its hinges, there in the frame way they stood.

Fan Girls

"OH MY GOD! IT'S EDWARD ELRIC!"

Forgetting all thoughts of revenge Ed snapped towards Mustang, with a pleading look.

"Truce?" Mustang stared blankly at the frightened boy; before finally giving him a reassuring look, and said with a smile:

"Not on your life."

Everything became a blur. As the teenage terrors flooded through the doorway. Ed jumped up and tried to run—but in vain. It only took the girls a few seconds to file out of the office. The famous _Fullmetal Alchemist_ being drug behind. By the feet. As he clawed the ground. Screaming for help "THEY SWARM!". Now it was Mustang's turn to laugh. And he did. But suddenly the great Roy Mustang was struck dumb.

"Wait! Why didn't any of them try to take me?" . And without missing a beat Riza traipse into the office to reply:

"Not every woman wants your body, sir."

Mustang: .

"AND FINISH THAT PAPER WORK!"

fin


End file.
